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A new record – 6 hours at the RBH A&E.
This really strengthen my inner most dis-like for hospital or clinics of any kind. And i certainly do not think i am going back for a long long while. Well, at least it will be an experience which i will not forget (i hope) and for Sam (who was with me all this while) as well.
I reached the hospital around 10:30pm. Registered myself and was told to take a seat in the semi-packed waiting room. From then, i began to entertain myself by watching the people walking in and out of the room. An hour later, the pain kind of intensified and my body is just crying out for pain-killers. I stood up, went over to the counter and ask for some. I was then scolded for not bringing my own (i looked at her and smile back — i am starting to get irritated). Anyway, i started a trend, because everyone else asked for pain-killers after. So slipping back into the uncomfy seat, my tummy began to cry out for the toilet. But thinking the docs will be with me shortly, i pressed on waiting.
1:30am. Into the 3rd hour. Still waiting for the doc, stomach growling loudly, patience diminishing rapidly. The only good side was that the pills took away most of the pain. But by now, it is time to approach the reception with the question, “How long more do we have to wait?”. And i will always remember this answer, “But you took the pain-killers, right?” I was like, “what de …..”. Then a near-by doctor quickly added, “i looked at your X-ray (from 3 weeks ago), nothing is wrong with it.” I was like yup, and you could have told me 3 hours earlier. Anyway, i was told to wait another half hour so that he can examine me. So sitting back in my seat, i waited again.
2am. I was taken into one of the consultation room, and he took a good look at my hand. His reply, came as a surprise to me. “This is one of the most intriguing injury i have ever seen tonight.” And he begin to study his text and consult other docs on what might be wrong with my hand. While asking me to wait. I couldn’t bear it any longer, so i decide to go to the toilet before he decides to do anything else. Anyway, after my toilet break, he send me off to the X-ray (even more waiting). A grumpy lady appears, looking like she just woke up. Called me into the room and tooked my hand. The next thing i know, my mind shouted in anguish and my body woke up in pain. By now, i am thinking that something is very wrong with the hospital.
Anyway to cut the whole story short (i am getting bored), after even more waiting, the docs told me they are not sure what is wrong with the hand, X-rays turned up nothing, so just keep massaging it, full-on Panadol and Voltaren combination and keep it under observation for the next 3 weeks.
Time i left the hospital: 4:30am.
Things learnt: Wait Patiently
Manly Mondays
But Weren’t The First Disciples All Men?
by Benjamin Lee
Monday night is Man’s Night in our home. Throughout the year 2006, seven groups of men, totalling 38 in all, would take turns to come to our home. While most were Singaporeans, we also had Filipinos, Malaysians and one from Hong Kong. My wife would prepare special treats and drinks and our twins would serve the guys.
It started in December 2005. On a plane trip back from Quito, God spoke to me about men. I thought we had already taught on manhood and our groups already had some men’s activities. But God seemed to say that I needed to make a more concerted effort. So I sat down with the church staff and planned for our first ever men’s conference in May 2006. Personally I would spend Monday nights with key men in church.
Let me start with my journey as a guy in church. I don’t get the wedding picture. Ephesians 5 talks about the bride marrying Jesus. But I don’t want to marry a man. Besides, I wouldn’t look nice in garters and lace. There is a song by HillSong which goes “Darling of heaven crucified…” It’s weird trying to relate to Jesus as “darling”!
Growing up in an Anglican church, I used to hear terms like “Ladies’ Fellowship” but don’t recall ever hearing about “Men’s Fellowship”. Many of my Sunday school teachers were female. Dedicated ladies gave us our earliest and deepest bonding with Bible stories. We learnt that Jesus was a nice boy, a polite boy, who always obeyed his mom, always brushed his teeth and always put the toilet seat down. I wondered why the priests wore frocks. This ‘feminised’ brand of Christianity was confusing.
So one of the first things I asked the 38 guys was, “Tell me some of the difficulties in discipling men.” Five themes came through:
Men like to apply. Sit-down singing and discussion seem to be more suited to women.
Men count the cost. They do this when deciding to serve. They think, “Ministry means less time to grow in other areas of life”. They feel their calling is their career. If there is a choice between a career-enhancing event and care group, or between getting 4 A’s and serving as care leader, the choice is simple. The career wins out every time.
Men are more practical. Everyone could be crying during worship but he does not feel much except out of place.
Men take time to bond. Many bonded with their mothers when they were boys. Dads were always busy with work. Those boys have grown up and they now say, “Only girls understand me.”
Men do ministry differently. They realise masculine submission and feminine submission to spiritual authority are different. Some rise up to serve but get discouraged – more than women do – when people don’t respond. They encounter guys who tell them, “I spend time at home so I am a godly example to kids,” which is not always helpful.
Then I asked about guys’ needs. The answers were fascinating. It was a combination of what they thought guys needed and what they felt they needed too. Four needs kept surfacing:
Men need spiritual victory. They need a God-thing personally and corporately. It is hearing God’s voice, receiving a prophetic word or healing.
Men need more mature men who are open to them. Then they learn to open up. We are inspired by role models. The church needs to make role models more evident. Guys need to see a man whom they respect, praying and taking Christianity seriously.
Men need to taste victory in ministry. Then they will want to do more for God. We are achievement-oriented.
Men need to taste close friendship. Most men change within the context of friendship.
The final thing I asked was the kind of guy-things that were effective. Sport is a big thing. Our guys do bowling, jogging, soccer, tennis and trekking. The younger guys do LAN gaming, PS2 and XBox. One group is into jamming. Many enjoy projects like helping people move house or planning a challenging event. One group scours the city for good eating places. One had an ‘Amazing Race’ with a rented bus to various locations for competitions that started at 10 pm and ended at 6 am. The one I liked was called ‘Ransom’. It was held on Pulau Ubin involving kidnappers, hostages and rescuers.
Here is the observation. God’s great outdoors often brings out the ‘man’ in us. There is something about corporate Singapore that can rob a man. He doesn’t get out in the fresh air. It’s more than sports and the fresh air. It’s about getting outdoors, with people important to you. We need masculine places.
I have learnt a lot from Manly Mondays. More than ever, I believe men want to take Christianity more seriously. Men don’t want to play church. They want to be hot for Jesus. They want their hearts to pump with the things the heart of Jesus pumps with.
The Christian church started with men but currently there are more women in church. This can change. That’s my prayer.
Ben and his wife Dinah serve as the senior pastor of Hope Church (S). They also pack a full travel schedule.
It is time. It is time.
The call has come for preparation.
Decisions has to be made.
Directions has to be set.
Soon it will be revealed.
Excitment, Passion and Joy.
It has to be build on a higher call.
No longer found with the unchallenged.
An urgency pressing in.
Soon it will be revealed.
It’s in the air. It’s in the spirit.
A fresh annointing falls.
A sense of revival storming the nations.
One heart is warming and crying out.
Soon it will be revealed.
Most of the time when I question,
i seek not to find out the reason, for i knew the answer.
Most of the time when I question,
i find not an explaination, but an understanding to the different responses.
Most of the time when i question,
i try not to offer a solution but a direction.
People usually sees me as unreasonable, and i am,
for when i am questioning, i take on the role of a persecuting lawyer.
People usually sees me as having bad attitude, and i am,
for when i am defending, i take on the role of a defending lawyer.
When i am in the role, i am the role.
Well, recently i tries to negate myself, by saying a simple statement.
“Ignore me, i am just trying to be funny.”
And it sure works.
As i get older, birthdays arn’t so important to me anymore. But on the otherhand, it is great to have people celebrating for me. So how did my day goes? Here it goes.
My mum is the first to call, followed by smses from my shepherd and my Sub-D Leader. I gave my twin bro a call during the day to wish him a happy birthday too. Then i head to the city before prayer wanting to get something for myself, but nothing interest me, so i just walk around pretty aimlessly.
The rest of my unit celebrate for me after prayer. A group of them look stun when i told them my birthday is on the 18th (hahahaa). Was surprise to see Hak there and some others as well. Henry studying while praying. Sarah presenting the cake, Bong singing the Happy Birthday song on stage and many others wanting to shake my injured right hand (i think most people are curious about my hand than my age). Ronald and Sam trying to distribute the cake to the whole church. The three kids – Deb, Dan and Paul wishing me a happy birthday. Chris sending me a video sms and its’ pretty cool. Hing sms-ing me to wish me Happy Birthday and quick recovery for my hand as well. More people wanting to shake my right hand, and Javier hugging me from the back. At the end of it all, Brian and Jason willingly sacrifice to take the public transport. I also got a miss call from dad, but couldn’t get him after.
Well, in the car, i saw the new kenwood system (i kinda knew it will be my present… hahahaaa… Sam probing around a few days earlier… and i also know the cost… and you all shouldn’t have spend so much).
Ultimately, i just couldn’t name everyone who came up to me, but you sure will be part of my memories. Thanks everyone for a great moment.
I haven’t got much sleep these few days. Mainly because of the constant pain on my hand. There will be times in the night where the pain will force me out of my bed. Times like now, sitting in front of my computer trying to find something to do to get the pain off my mind. Most of the other times, i will just walk around my living room, crying out to God for pain relieve.
I told someone this, “pain becomes bearable as time goes by, because it has became part of us”. But i should have ended with, “maybe after a few months, or a few years”.
Well, on the bright side, at least i got a week of unpaid sick leave. Hahaaha. Sounded more bitter than sweet.
I now officially annouce “i am old”. Everytime i play any sports, i am sure to injure myself. This will sure put me off tennis for a while.
Introducing my latest injury after a game of tennis. My big fat right hand.
My hand on Thursday after insisting on not seeing the doc.
My hand on Saturday after seeing the Doc in A&E.
God,
forgive me when i demand.
forgive me when i am proud.
forgive me when i go my own.
change my attitude.
change my ways.
change my thoughts.
do draw me near.
cast me not away.
i want to commune with your spirit.
please forgive me a sinner.
please teach me how to live a life worthy of you.
please help me to set an example of holy living.
In Jesus Almighty Name,
Amen.
My life recently can be split into three parts.
Morning till Evening – Work
Evening till Midnight – Ministries
Midnight till Morning – Sleep
Work has been easy, unmotivating and unchallenging.
Ministries has been interesting, seeking and challenging.
Sleep is resting.
Which do i prefer?
Well, i like challenges, i like to be kept busy and i like to rest.
Well, i am amazed by the result. Let me do a self evaluation regarding my love language.
I do agree that my primary love is probably quality time. I think there is a difference between quality time and quantity time. I enjoy a short meaningful conversation or activities more than i enjoy long hours of time being together. Coupled with physcial touch as my secondary love language, i think some will say, “Yup, that is Steven“.
From the result, words of affirmation doesn’t hold dear to me as compared with receiving gifts, which is somewhat true. Since coming to Australia, I started collecting things people gave to me or things which i consider memorial. There will be times when i looked through these stuffs, from letters to pass-it-on-cards, from hand-drawn clothings to hand-made bottles, pictures, toys, etc, etc. It has always encourage me much when i look through the years of things which i have collected.
Acts of Service is probably not my type of love language. Well, i do appreciate what people do for me like making me breakfast, lunch, dinner or soup whenever i am sick or acts of service of any kind. But it sure doesn’t make me feel more loved. Still, I DO appreciate what people did for me (clarification hehehee).
Anway, here’s the result of My Love Language 
My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.
Complete set of results
| Quality Time: | 10 | |
| Physical Touch: | 8 | |
| Receiving Gifts: | 7 | |
| Acts of Service: | 4 | |
| Words of Affirmation: | 1 |
Information
Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don’t understand our partner’s requirements, or even our own. We all have a “love tank” that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.
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